Tortilla Soup (Hector Elizondo, 2001)

So, today we're having Enchilada casserole. Being the super mom I am, I decided to "stay on top of things" by preparing dinner this afternoon. I had all my ingredients nicely lined up--including an open can of Enchilada sauce that sat on the counter. I proceeded to do my cooking thing when my cute little curious toddler son walks up to me and smiled. I returned his smile. Then he turned to begin pacing the kitchen.

Suddenly, I hear a spill. I turn around to find Enchilada sauce all over my kitchen floor and my son. Forgetting he can reach anything on the counter--unless it's pushed to the back--I left that can just within his grasp. Of course, he had to grab it and try to take a drink.

I cleaned up my son then moved to the floor. As I cleaned, I couldn't prevent myself from murmuring and complaining the entire time. After all, this TOTALLY interrupted my plan to stay "on top of things." Now, I have to stop cooking and go to the store for more Enchilada sauce!

Suddenly, I began reflecting on my last grocery shopping trip. I remembered standing in that Mexican food aisle for about five minutes trying to talk myself out of purchasing two cans of Enchilada sauce. I even put one can back on the shelf and walked away. But, for some reason, I had to go back and get it. Do you understand how crazy I thought I was being at the time? I knew my recipe only called for one can and had no idea why I felt literally compelled to get two cans. But, as I kneeled there on my hands and knees with red sauce all around me, I couldn't help but thank God for His omniscience. I believe it was Him in that aisle nudging me to get that second can.

Maybe you think it's crazy that I see God at work in the midst of my enchilada sauce spill. But, I'm learning everyday that His hand is always upon me. His spirit lives within me. So, I thank Him for caring--even in the small things--and proving that He's always looking out for me.

Deja Vu (Denzel Washington--2006)

Life is full of challenges that come (presumably) to make us stronger. We're told to consider it pure joy, whenever we face trials of many kinds. We are to know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

We face difficulty every day. However, I believe there are a handful of experiences in life that change us forever. I call them "WOW Moments." The memories and lessons during those times lay at the core of hearts and shape our entire outlook on life. Sassy's "Wow Moment" came in the form of infertility. It was an almost four year span full of prayers, tears, questioning, resentment, medical procedures, bad advice, stupid comments, loss, and depression. Then, miraculously, the Lord blessed us with a child. A beautiful child. I was and still am in complete awe of him and the joy he brings into my life.

My husband and I rejoiced in knowing our journey through infertility had ended. Then, we decided to try for a second child. It took us only a few months to realize infertility has not yet finished working on us. It was a shock that stirred up all those old feelings, and for a few moments, my heart broke. Then I remembered that the same God who brought me through this the first time, is capable of doing it again.

Deuteronomy 31:8 says, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Sassy Jesus Girl is holding onto that Word today. The Lord goes before us to prepare the way. Then, He walks with us as we endure whatever troubles may come. He will not leave us; he will not fail us; he will not forsake us.

Remember that the next time an old problem revisits you and know that the Lord your God is near to you. He is an ever present help in times of trouble. As for me, I'm striving ever more diligently to be the best mom I can be. I choose today to focus on all that I have--all that's right in my life--rather than dwelling on the pain of what I may never have--another child.