Shape of My Heart (Backstreet Boys, 2000)

While talking with a friend today, I shared a trial I'm living through. She did the same. In the end, we both decided, sometimes the process of being on the potter's wheel absolutely sucks! Instead of being put on a wheel, turned every which way, and pushed & prodded into something useful, we'd much prefer to just instantly become beautiful vases!

The Word tells us to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..." But, let's just be honest for a moment. How often do you encounter trouble and think about how excited you are to endure it? Not much? Me neither. Truthfully, sometimes, God is working on me and it's great! Other times, I just want to skip the painful process and get to the good stuff.

But, as I look back over my life and consider all the troubles...I know they

produced great things. Yes! There was plenty of pain and sorrow. But, the work done in my heart for Christ, has been greater. It's been true in my life that the testing of my faith has developed perseverance. More than that, it's taught me to trust the Lord and depend on Him for change and true healing. Only He can do it!

Through every trial, He's proven Himself faithful and true. I often don't understand or even like what He's doing. But, in the end, He brings me through stronger, better, and more faithful. He uses every trial to shape me more into a vessel He can use.

It's so true that His ways are so much higher than ours. So, while we endure these sometimes sucky situations, let's cling to Him and never doubt His love for us. He's not trying to hurt us. He's trying to heal and free us from every hurt...and sometimes, that's a painful process.

(James 1:2-3, Isa. 55:9, Jeremiah 18:1-6)

I Need The Every Hour (Selah, 2004)

Since having my second child, I'm faced more and more each day with the reality of how inadequate I am as a parent. Without God's grace and guidance, these poor kids would probably be in a world of trouble. Some days I'm sleep deprived, anxious, irritable, and fatigued. Saying I'm not my best would be an understatement.

When I think about how often I call on the name of the Lord throughout each day, it makes me smile. Part of me is amused at how I must sound to God like my two year old sounds to me sometimes. Another part of me smiles because I know the Lord is using this time to show me how much I need him...and I surely need him!!

Proverbs 3:5-8 reminds me to trust in the LORD with all my heart and do not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight. I must not be wise in my own eyes but must fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to my body and refreshment to my bones. I used to think of this scripture only in regards to fleeing sin. But, today, it speaks to me of my need to rely on the Lord's guidance in everyday living--even things like parenting and mundane monotonous housework.

I've learned to not think my schedule and plans for the day are written in stone. Been there, done that, and it often ends in my having a meltdown when things don't go my way. But, as I seek the Lord and ask His direction for each day, He makes my path straight and leads me to what He ordained for me. Learning to rely on Him has been so freeing. It's truly been healing to my body and refreshment to my bones!! It takes the pressure off me and puts it in the hands of the ONLY one who can handle it: My Lord. He knows what's best for me and these precious babies entrusted into my care. So, I am trusting His direction instead of my own!